A place to let my brain metaphorically fart

So, it's been roughly three years since i've done a post on blogspot.
Can't say that i really missed it because if i did, i'm sure i'd have wrote something in between the last three years. BUT, everyone needs a place to just let it all out.

So, dear totallytimmytime, what's been happening over the last three years you ask?
I'll split it up into three parts: studies, interests and relationships.

Studies - That time when i last wrote something, my average mark at uni was still above an HD.
It's only just over a D now. Sooooo.. yeah, i went down a little. Actually, i should mention that i went down from an HD to a D to a C average after second year, and then crawled back up to a D in third year and have been maintaining it since. So you should be kind of proud of me still at least. Actually, not me. All glory to God that i still haven't failed a single unit. By God's grace, i will continue to pass.
Having said that, right now, i should/could be studying computational or systems and control.. or property finance ... or even do some practice exams on financial equities and investments, but i seriously don't want to. I just need to let my brain metaphorically fart.

Interests - That time when i last wrote something, Nintendo Wii was one of my favourite things in life and in particular, Mario Kart and Guitar Hero because i was a freakin gun at those two games. I haven't looked to gaming consoles for quite a while now. Other interests have shifted towards the adult-side of life, namely employment. I've been looking for lots of work. By God's grace, i got some engineering related hands-on work in two different companies back between 2011 and 2012. Now i'm looking for vacation work and i'm hoping for a reply from an automation company for which i did an interview for a few days ago, and an energy company for which i did a phone interview. I've really been shown through all this time that God is good all the time. It hasn't been an easy journey. I've really had to learn to trust in God and not my own ways but retrospectively, it is obvious that God always knows best and He'll take care of you all the time. I might not get the job for either of those vacation work places, but i know 'that i know' in all my heart that if i continue being obedient to His word and submitting all my desires and casting all my cares unto Him, i'm going to be a-ok.
On the topic of not knowing what the future holds and putting God's will ahead of your own...

Relationships - That time when i last wrote something, ... .. .. i honestly can't remember if there was someone on my mind. Judging from my last post, i was really into SNSD girls. I still think they're gorgeous regardless of whether it was because of plastic surgery or not. I definitely think i'd give them more grace nowadays because as you get older, you get to understand that people are entitled to their own choices (but regardless, you know i was saying everything there very tongue-in-cheek. Always meant well in my own uniquely amusing way).
ANYWAY, so i did date a few girls over the past few years. I had some very interesting and particularly regretful relationships. I guess this is kind of like the admissions part of my blog.
 - One example was when i was dating a girl who had just broken up with a guy friend of mine who thought of me as a good friend too, but didn't really grasp the concept of their break up. That was pretty bad because dating things should only happen when both parties have a mutual understanding. Anyway, it started off with me seeing her at a friend's 21st. Catching up, she told me about her life was with her then current boyfriend and i was there as a shoulder to cry on. She then started digging into the past... to two years prior to that when we were both in our last year of school and i liked her. She asked, "why didn't you ask me out back then?" followed by "do you still like me now?" followed by "don't you think we deserve a chance?" Yeah, i guess i didn't know how i felt and so i did reply 'yes' to the second question. But, it didn't take long until i stopped it because well, it was pretty bad. I got turned off by the idea of that relationship anyway. Thank God that my values and morals prevailed in the end. Having said that, very regretful because it wasn't long after i called it off that she went back to that boyfriend and they've been together now for four years. Actually, I don't think he knows how that happened to this day.
- Another example was when i asked a girl out from uni by asking her out to the movies. She said ok, and then she got back to me a couple of days later and said she'd be busy that week so maybe we could do it another time. Instead of doing it another time, i just kind of let it slide and never went back to it. For a while, i wasn't sure if that was something i should've regretted.. but eh, that was like, two years ago... although she did ask to catch up with me the other day. I never replied. I'll explain why later though.
- Another example was when i rebounded with a girl who i knew liked me (thanks to some of my good friends) and happened to be attractive (to me at least back then) and with whom i had an extreme-escalated-quickly kind of thing with in a two week period of time. It got to holding hands on the night of the day we met, and staying over at her place the night after. Thankfully, i didn't do anything too physically 'silly', but my biggest regret was that i treated her like crap because i didn't have anything emotionally available for her and really only essentially used her as a rebound. As a matter of fact, even when she asked me if i still had feelings for the past girl, i lied with "pfft, don't be silly. no", and persisted. It was a terrible thing i did, and i regret so much that i led her on for those weeks. When i finally mustered up the courage to tell her that i wanted to be friends..but over whatsapp (you're free to judge me.. but i'll let you know now that it began with "hey, can i talk to you one on one later? let's meet up" and only because she replied "is it because you want to be friends?" that i delivered the message i delievered), she took it pretty angrily as expected. Having said that, i think she's a remarkable girl who would be great for her right guy. I say this because she gave me a lot of grace even within those two weeks, she still had the decency to say hi whenever i walked past her, and she still even 'like'd my facebook post the other day. If i had to say something to her now, i would say "i just want to wish well". (Actually, i'd say the same thing to every other girl i've ever dated.)
- Another example was when i actually did end up dating and 'unofficially' boyfriending a girl from my local church for about ten months tops. I don't really want to talk about it because it's kind of one of those regretful ones where you only realise how bad it was through the gift of hindsight. But basically, it started when one of my close friends told me that you should always date someone who's not your friend because if it screws up with the one who is your friend, you can never go back. So, naively, i took her advice and sought after this particular girl who at the time, i thought would be a great catch. Turns out, some fish require bigger nets to be caught. I didn't realise that i was a fisherman who had a very particular hook and bait that would be exclusive to a one-out-of-a-bazillion type of fish. Hook and bait that belonged totally and completely to me. Precious, pure and carved from my raw love; practically my own dna. Obviously this girl wasn't the one, but due to my being completely mezmerised by her uniqueness, i couldn't help but keep trying to force catch her. What a stupid fisherman i was. Just because you're mildly hungry doesn't mean you have to go catch a jellyfish. Additionally, even when i sought God's counsel, i disregarded the signs and His still small voice which told me to "just be friends". So that was pretty bad and now she and i don't talk anymore, and i feel pretty bad for trying to push it to happen. So much wasted time and effort. I really wish it never happened and i guess, i deserve to feel this way about it now.

BUT.. the good news. The thing i DIDN'T deserve but i got as a result of God's unending, amazing grace..
and it just so happens to be about where i am now.

I met someone.
Someone incredible.
Incredible doesn't even adequately do her justice.
Justice is what i'm hoping to half-accomplish with what i'm about to write now.

Remember how i mentioned that i had really really exclusive bait? As stats would have it, this fish... this lady happened to be in international seas. To cut the story short, she took my hook and bait and basically, let me catch her. In case you're wondering about the description of a one-out-a-bazillion type of fish, i'll explain it now.
You're looking at someone who has a heart that is beyond what you could ever imagine.
Someone who is as beautiful as anything you've ever seen in your life.
Someone who makes everything else seem trivial (apart from God) in your eyes.
Someone who thinks the way you think, is on your wavelength, and is so selfless.
Someone who gives more grace than you'll ever be able to give.
Someone who can look past all of the crap you did in your past and say "it made you who you are today".
Someone who believes that everyone deserves a second a chance.
Someone who understands you. And even when she doesn't, she TRIES and keeps trying no matter what, regardless of how bad it might get.
Someone who makes you understand that actually, you had never truly loved anyone before in your life after all.

Someone who somehow, tells me she loves me more no matter the depth to which i say i love her.

Haha, i think you get the gist of it. She's amazing.
And i definitely tell her every day that i love her.

All up, one week from now will signify five months since we starting being together. Thankfully, she loves me enough that she's not shy to hide away from telling people that i'm her man. It certainly feels good when you don't have to put some stupid label to your relationship that compels you to ask yourself questions and causes you to feel insecurities. From day one, we've been totally honest with each other about our pasts. We don't hide anything from each other. She tells me everything that would be important to disclose in our relationship, and so do i. In those five months, we haven't yet had a single argument. Each day, i'm growing more and more in love with her. Totally in love with her. Sometimes it makes me emotional, which is pretty lame but it can't be helped. When God blesses you like this, how else do you react?

OH but there is one catch.
(as in one trade-off. also true that there is one catch in the sense that i caught my current girlfriend)

We're doing long distance.

Judge me all you want but rather than caring about what stupid opinions others have on it, i'm simply counting down the days until i get to see her again physically. And it's not too far away.
I'm simply looking forward to it more and more. *all smiles*

I know i haven't made a proper end to this blog but i must leave now because i've got a skype date with her.
Thank God for skype.

Don't worry totallytimmytime, i'll write something more opinionative, controversial and worth your reading while next time.

But for now, sorry buddy, she'll always be more important than a conclusion to a blog.