I guess it occurred to me recently that sometimes, people try too hard to show love. Unfortunately, sometimes, this results in miscommunication. I write this as the guy who overthinks and has done this before, but only realised after being on the receiving end.
Let's see if you can identify with this scenario.
Out of the purest example of courtesy to your significant other, you tell them that due to THEIR current circumstances (such as time difference, an upcoming exam or assignment due, personal issues, etc.) you'll leave them in peace to rest or something like that. Obviously, you're feeling pretty good about the relationship and feeling like the better half.
Hmm, as obvious as it is for the third person to say "you're awesome! so thoughtful", let's take a look at the receiving end for a person who is very much passionate for their significant other.
So, maybe the first couple of times they've said this, you might say "nah, you're the exception", but then as this scenario plays out again and again, you begin to think. Overthink. Maybe they're just saying this because THEY don't have time for you anymore. They're not interested in your trivial stuffs.
It becomes discourtesy.
And then, your reaction plays out. You begin to mirror image, but with a hidden irritated motive.
At that point, yeah, it's pretty much damage control because both of you end up questioning whether you love each other.
I guess the concept that comes to mind for me now is that people in relationships should learn to appreciate the clingy-ness of their significant other rather than simply ignore or reject it. BUT that when it becomes too much, honesty is the key and you just have to learn to figure out the middle ground.
That's pretty much it right? The middle ground.
The classic hot and cold of a relationship.
Sometimes, you're being courteous. But then again, sometimes you aren't even when you think are.
I guess some days you have to be clingy. And if you calculate your days right, sometimes you can be 'courteously' non-clingy.
I guess for Christian couple however, it's pretty easy to show how much you love each other.
I'd say, just let them know along with the "I love you, good night" each night , say "I'm praying for you" too.
It's probably the best way to kill two bird with one stone; you do think about them, and you care for them.
But regardless of how courteous you're trying to be, my humble opinion is that you make every effort to let your significant other know that you love them in the 'simplest' romantic form.
Back to the basics. 'I love you and I can't wait to see you again!' as opposed to repeatedly stating, 'I know you're busy, so I don't want to burden you'.
In conclusion...
Courtesy. Something vital to a relationship and should be exercised, but should be used less frequently than clingy-ness and reinforced affection.
Again, my humble opinion:
It takes longer for them to think, "you never think of others but your own feelings" than to think, "maybe you don't even care"
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