I'd love to write a song about my frustration regarding this issue, but given the logistics behind recording and stuff, it'd be grossly irresponsible of me to do so. But anyway...
Twitter exhausts me.
I get that the key reason for its success is that it allows others to get a glimpse behind the scenes of others.
What i don't understand within this key concept is why we must feel so compelled to share our weaknesses, and why we must highlight our strengths.
See how intrinsically juvenile Twitter is?
But ok, you got me.
I myself have a Twitter account.
It has only been until recently that i've started using it more (a compulsion that came from an imbalance of bargaining power). But i am quite certain that i shall be using it less liberally now.
Based on the tweets of some of the people i followed, i felt encouraged to vent out my feelings and my emotions but quite frankly, that makes me feel very uncomfortable.
For this reason, before recently, i would use my Twitter account for one of two things: a place where i could post about funny things that happen in my life (using it like how i would with a Facebook status), or as a platform to share with others encouraging scriptures from the Word of God.
Honestly, i'd treat it like how i would with Instagram. People never publish a photo of themselves crying in misery.
As a matter of fact, thinking back, i was pushed to use Twitter as advice from a church friend who encouraged me to follow influential, encouraging people so as to be empowered not only on Sundays, but daily with small doses.
Mostly, these would be well known church pastors who'd collectively, provide an endless supply of optimistic quotes and scripture tweets. Those ones like "The Lord is my light and salvation, whom shall I fear, whom shall I be afraid?" or "Do not be anxious about anything but through prayer and petition, lift up your worries to God".
I used it as a social aid to help me in my own life. I used it to keep my blood flowing.
I used it to feel optimistic. To make me smile.
These are of course, what Twitter meant to me personally.
But, i have to be honest. I don't understand why people use it to proclaim their weaknesses to the world ever so frequently. What's the point? As far as i'm concerned, there are no positives in the long-run. They find out you're not perfect and you have problems.
The best reaction you'd expect from followers - "oh it's ok, cheer up!". What's the point?
But really, if you have enough finances to get you internet and a Twitter account, there are more things to be sad and worried about #firstworldproblems #turnyoureyestoHim #hastaggingresponsibly
And then you might tell others about how you perceive yourself: "man, I suck".
Funnily, there's only one type of response to the self-loathing that will come: "poor you, i don't think you're that bad at all!"
Again, what's the point?
When i saw the tweets and 'fml' Facebook statuses from friends of mine who were looking down on themselves or complaining about trivial narrow aspects of life, i didn't look up to them. I didn't even sympathise with them. Maybe a couple of times, I'd personally message them on Facebook and ask "what's up?" Haha, but even me, the renowned 'nice guy' or 'mother goose' (a name which i have been called more than a couple of times) sometimes couldn't care less.
I just feel like it's wiser for me to distance myself from these fools!
And that's exactly what i do.
Of course, there's a different story with my loved ones (i.e. the girlfriend).
There's a certain insecurity that i feel for my loved ones and myself when i see these tweets. I am aware that i might sound like a bit of a control freak when i say this but, i always expect that it's my responsibility to cheer and check up on my loved one.
I can't help but feel defensive whenever i think that there might be someone else out there (a 'competitor') who might solicit unwarranted recommendations and in that sense, try to take up my role after seeing her tweets. #ijustreallyloveher #shesnotforsharing
I know the things i say will never be enough to keep her absolutely satisfied, calm, and feel like the most important person in the world to me (no matter how bloody hard i try) but gosh, the thought of another guy taking up my role while i'm still her other-half brings... me the chills.
Please, what's the point?
Twitter scares me.
There is an enormous repercussion potential in the things you share on Twitter. Things that people can pounce on.
The public display of your emotional cracks - it's dangerous.
There is such an addiction that can come from this type of social networking in the form of desiring the attention of others to your situation. Surely, this reliance is not a good thing...
This of course, leads me to my main overall contention.
You don't need to reveal the behind the scenes to the public.
All you need are the people who matter to you. The people who truly love you.
And the Comforter; Jesus.
No one has a perfect life. But why burden people who don't truly care rather than those who do?
Because it's those who do care who will give you undying support and the empowerment to press on.
Trust only those who you know you can.
Otherwise, you're only receiving a short-term burst of relief at the expense of letting your problems out and potential embarrassment into the future.
In conclusion...
Keep it together. Keep it close. Keep trusting in God.
Monday, October 21, 2013
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Courtesy - It can go both ways in a bfgf-relationship
I write this with the intention of keeping this short.
I guess it occurred to me recently that sometimes, people try too hard to show love. Unfortunately, sometimes, this results in miscommunication. I write this as the guy who overthinks and has done this before, but only realised after being on the receiving end.
Let's see if you can identify with this scenario.
Out of the purest example of courtesy to your significant other, you tell them that due to THEIR current circumstances (such as time difference, an upcoming exam or assignment due, personal issues, etc.) you'll leave them in peace to rest or something like that. Obviously, you're feeling pretty good about the relationship and feeling like the better half.
Hmm, as obvious as it is for the third person to say "you're awesome! so thoughtful", let's take a look at the receiving end for a person who is very much passionate for their significant other.
So, maybe the first couple of times they've said this, you might say "nah, you're the exception", but then as this scenario plays out again and again, you begin to think. Overthink. Maybe they're just saying this because THEY don't have time for you anymore. They're not interested in your trivial stuffs.
It becomes discourtesy.
And then, your reaction plays out. You begin to mirror image, but with a hidden irritated motive.
At that point, yeah, it's pretty much damage control because both of you end up questioning whether you love each other.
I guess the concept that comes to mind for me now is that people in relationships should learn to appreciate the clingy-ness of their significant other rather than simply ignore or reject it. BUT that when it becomes too much, honesty is the key and you just have to learn to figure out the middle ground.
That's pretty much it right? The middle ground.
The classic hot and cold of a relationship.
Sometimes, you're being courteous. But then again, sometimes you aren't even when you think are.
I guess some days you have to be clingy. And if you calculate your days right, sometimes you can be 'courteously' non-clingy.
I guess for Christian couple however, it's pretty easy to show how much you love each other.
I'd say, just let them know along with the "I love you, good night" each night , say "I'm praying for you" too.
It's probably the best way to kill two bird with one stone; you do think about them, and you care for them.
But regardless of how courteous you're trying to be, my humble opinion is that you make every effort to let your significant other know that you love them in the 'simplest' romantic form.
Back to the basics. 'I love you and I can't wait to see you again!' as opposed to repeatedly stating, 'I know you're busy, so I don't want to burden you'.
In conclusion...
Courtesy. Something vital to a relationship and should be exercised, but should be used less frequently than clingy-ness and reinforced affection.
Again, my humble opinion:
I guess it occurred to me recently that sometimes, people try too hard to show love. Unfortunately, sometimes, this results in miscommunication. I write this as the guy who overthinks and has done this before, but only realised after being on the receiving end.
Let's see if you can identify with this scenario.
Out of the purest example of courtesy to your significant other, you tell them that due to THEIR current circumstances (such as time difference, an upcoming exam or assignment due, personal issues, etc.) you'll leave them in peace to rest or something like that. Obviously, you're feeling pretty good about the relationship and feeling like the better half.
Hmm, as obvious as it is for the third person to say "you're awesome! so thoughtful", let's take a look at the receiving end for a person who is very much passionate for their significant other.
So, maybe the first couple of times they've said this, you might say "nah, you're the exception", but then as this scenario plays out again and again, you begin to think. Overthink. Maybe they're just saying this because THEY don't have time for you anymore. They're not interested in your trivial stuffs.
It becomes discourtesy.
And then, your reaction plays out. You begin to mirror image, but with a hidden irritated motive.
At that point, yeah, it's pretty much damage control because both of you end up questioning whether you love each other.
I guess the concept that comes to mind for me now is that people in relationships should learn to appreciate the clingy-ness of their significant other rather than simply ignore or reject it. BUT that when it becomes too much, honesty is the key and you just have to learn to figure out the middle ground.
That's pretty much it right? The middle ground.
The classic hot and cold of a relationship.
Sometimes, you're being courteous. But then again, sometimes you aren't even when you think are.
I guess some days you have to be clingy. And if you calculate your days right, sometimes you can be 'courteously' non-clingy.
I guess for Christian couple however, it's pretty easy to show how much you love each other.
I'd say, just let them know along with the "I love you, good night" each night , say "I'm praying for you" too.
It's probably the best way to kill two bird with one stone; you do think about them, and you care for them.
But regardless of how courteous you're trying to be, my humble opinion is that you make every effort to let your significant other know that you love them in the 'simplest' romantic form.
Back to the basics. 'I love you and I can't wait to see you again!' as opposed to repeatedly stating, 'I know you're busy, so I don't want to burden you'.
In conclusion...
Courtesy. Something vital to a relationship and should be exercised, but should be used less frequently than clingy-ness and reinforced affection.
Again, my humble opinion:
It takes longer for them to think, "you never think of others but your own feelings" than to think, "maybe you don't even care"
Saturday, September 28, 2013
A place to let my brain metaphorically fart
So, it's been roughly three years since i've done a post on blogspot.
Can't say that i really missed it because if i did, i'm sure i'd have wrote something in between the last three years. BUT, everyone needs a place to just let it all out.
So, dear totallytimmytime, what's been happening over the last three years you ask?
I'll split it up into three parts: studies, interests and relationships.
Studies - That time when i last wrote something, my average mark at uni was still above an HD.
It's only just over a D now. Sooooo.. yeah, i went down a little. Actually, i should mention that i went down from an HD to a D to a C average after second year, and then crawled back up to a D in third year and have been maintaining it since. So you should be kind of proud of me still at least. Actually, not me. All glory to God that i still haven't failed a single unit. By God's grace, i will continue to pass.
Having said that, right now, i should/could be studying computational or systems and control.. or property finance ... or even do some practice exams on financial equities and investments, but i seriously don't want to. I just need to let my brain metaphorically fart.
Interests - That time when i last wrote something, Nintendo Wii was one of my favourite things in life and in particular, Mario Kart and Guitar Hero because i was a freakin gun at those two games. I haven't looked to gaming consoles for quite a while now. Other interests have shifted towards the adult-side of life, namely employment. I've been looking for lots of work. By God's grace, i got some engineering related hands-on work in two different companies back between 2011 and 2012. Now i'm looking for vacation work and i'm hoping for a reply from an automation company for which i did an interview for a few days ago, and an energy company for which i did a phone interview. I've really been shown through all this time that God is good all the time. It hasn't been an easy journey. I've really had to learn to trust in God and not my own ways but retrospectively, it is obvious that God always knows best and He'll take care of you all the time. I might not get the job for either of those vacation work places, but i know 'that i know' in all my heart that if i continue being obedient to His word and submitting all my desires and casting all my cares unto Him, i'm going to be a-ok.
On the topic of not knowing what the future holds and putting God's will ahead of your own...
Relationships - That time when i last wrote something, ... .. .. i honestly can't remember if there was someone on my mind. Judging from my last post, i was really into SNSD girls. I still think they're gorgeous regardless of whether it was because of plastic surgery or not. I definitely think i'd give them more grace nowadays because as you get older, you get to understand that people are entitled to their own choices (but regardless, you know i was saying everything there very tongue-in-cheek. Always meant well in my own uniquely amusing way).
ANYWAY, so i did date a few girls over the past few years. I had some very interesting and particularly regretful relationships. I guess this is kind of like the admissions part of my blog.
- One example was when i was dating a girl who had just broken up with a guy friend of mine who thought of me as a good friend too, but didn't really grasp the concept of their break up. That was pretty bad because dating things should only happen when both parties have a mutual understanding. Anyway, it started off with me seeing her at a friend's 21st. Catching up, she told me about her life was with her then current boyfriend and i was there as a shoulder to cry on. She then started digging into the past... to two years prior to that when we were both in our last year of school and i liked her. She asked, "why didn't you ask me out back then?" followed by "do you still like me now?" followed by "don't you think we deserve a chance?" Yeah, i guess i didn't know how i felt and so i did reply 'yes' to the second question. But, it didn't take long until i stopped it because well, it was pretty bad. I got turned off by the idea of that relationship anyway. Thank God that my values and morals prevailed in the end. Having said that, very regretful because it wasn't long after i called it off that she went back to that boyfriend and they've been together now for four years. Actually, I don't think he knows how that happened to this day.
- Another example was when i asked a girl out from uni by asking her out to the movies. She said ok, and then she got back to me a couple of days later and said she'd be busy that week so maybe we could do it another time. Instead of doing it another time, i just kind of let it slide and never went back to it. For a while, i wasn't sure if that was something i should've regretted.. but eh, that was like, two years ago... although she did ask to catch up with me the other day. I never replied. I'll explain why later though.
- Another example was when i rebounded with a girl who i knew liked me (thanks to some of my good friends) and happened to be attractive (to me at least back then) and with whom i had an extreme-escalated-quickly kind of thing with in a two week period of time. It got to holding hands on the night of the day we met, and staying over at her place the night after. Thankfully, i didn't do anything too physically 'silly', but my biggest regret was that i treated her like crap because i didn't have anything emotionally available for her and really only essentially used her as a rebound. As a matter of fact, even when she asked me if i still had feelings for the past girl, i lied with "pfft, don't be silly. no", and persisted. It was a terrible thing i did, and i regret so much that i led her on for those weeks. When i finally mustered up the courage to tell her that i wanted to be friends..but over whatsapp (you're free to judge me.. but i'll let you know now that it began with "hey, can i talk to you one on one later? let's meet up" and only because she replied "is it because you want to be friends?" that i delivered the message i delievered), she took it pretty angrily as expected. Having said that, i think she's a remarkable girl who would be great for her right guy. I say this because she gave me a lot of grace even within those two weeks, she still had the decency to say hi whenever i walked past her, and she still even 'like'd my facebook post the other day. If i had to say something to her now, i would say "i just want to wish well". (Actually, i'd say the same thing to every other girl i've ever dated.)
- Another example was when i actually did end up dating and 'unofficially' boyfriending a girl from my local church for about ten months tops. I don't really want to talk about it because it's kind of one of those regretful ones where you only realise how bad it was through the gift of hindsight. But basically, it started when one of my close friends told me that you should always date someone who's not your friend because if it screws up with the one who is your friend, you can never go back. So, naively, i took her advice and sought after this particular girl who at the time, i thought would be a great catch. Turns out, some fish require bigger nets to be caught. I didn't realise that i was a fisherman who had a very particular hook and bait that would be exclusive to a one-out-of-a-bazillion type of fish. Hook and bait that belonged totally and completely to me. Precious, pure and carved from my raw love; practically my own dna. Obviously this girl wasn't the one, but due to my being completely mezmerised by her uniqueness, i couldn't help but keep trying to force catch her. What a stupid fisherman i was. Just because you're mildly hungry doesn't mean you have to go catch a jellyfish. Additionally, even when i sought God's counsel, i disregarded the signs and His still small voice which told me to "just be friends". So that was pretty bad and now she and i don't talk anymore, and i feel pretty bad for trying to push it to happen. So much wasted time and effort. I really wish it never happened and i guess, i deserve to feel this way about it now.
BUT.. the good news. The thing i DIDN'T deserve but i got as a result of God's unending, amazing grace..
and it just so happens to be about where i am now.
I met someone.
Someone incredible.
Incredible doesn't even adequately do her justice.
Justice is what i'm hoping to half-accomplish with what i'm about to write now.
Remember how i mentioned that i had really really exclusive bait? As stats would have it, this fish... this lady happened to be in international seas. To cut the story short, she took my hook and bait and basically, let me catch her. In case you're wondering about the description of a one-out-a-bazillion type of fish, i'll explain it now.
You're looking at someone who has a heart that is beyond what you could ever imagine.
Someone who is as beautiful as anything you've ever seen in your life.
Someone who makes everything else seem trivial (apart from God) in your eyes.
Someone who thinks the way you think, is on your wavelength, and is so selfless.
Someone who gives more grace than you'll ever be able to give.
Someone who can look past all of the crap you did in your past and say "it made you who you are today".
Someone who believes that everyone deserves a second a chance.
Someone who understands you. And even when she doesn't, she TRIES and keeps trying no matter what, regardless of how bad it might get.
Someone who makes you understand that actually, you had never truly loved anyone before in your life after all.
Someone who somehow, tells me she loves me more no matter the depth to which i say i love her.
Haha, i think you get the gist of it. She's amazing.
And i definitely tell her every day that i love her.
All up, one week from now will signify five months since we starting being together. Thankfully, she loves me enough that she's not shy to hide away from telling people that i'm her man. It certainly feels good when you don't have to put some stupid label to your relationship that compels you to ask yourself questions and causes you to feel insecurities. From day one, we've been totally honest with each other about our pasts. We don't hide anything from each other. She tells me everything that would be important to disclose in our relationship, and so do i. In those five months, we haven't yet had a single argument. Each day, i'm growing more and more in love with her. Totally in love with her. Sometimes it makes me emotional, which is pretty lame but it can't be helped. When God blesses you like this, how else do you react?
OH but there is one catch.
(as in one trade-off. also true that there is one catch in the sense that i caught my current girlfriend)
We're doing long distance.
Judge me all you want but rather than caring about what stupid opinions others have on it, i'm simply counting down the days until i get to see her again physically. And it's not too far away.
I'm simply looking forward to it more and more. *all smiles*
I know i haven't made a proper end to this blog but i must leave now because i've got a skype date with her.
Thank God for skype.
Don't worry totallytimmytime, i'll write something more opinionative, controversial and worth your reading while next time.
But for now, sorry buddy, she'll always be more important than a conclusion to a blog.
Can't say that i really missed it because if i did, i'm sure i'd have wrote something in between the last three years. BUT, everyone needs a place to just let it all out.
So, dear totallytimmytime, what's been happening over the last three years you ask?
I'll split it up into three parts: studies, interests and relationships.
Studies - That time when i last wrote something, my average mark at uni was still above an HD.
It's only just over a D now. Sooooo.. yeah, i went down a little. Actually, i should mention that i went down from an HD to a D to a C average after second year, and then crawled back up to a D in third year and have been maintaining it since. So you should be kind of proud of me still at least. Actually, not me. All glory to God that i still haven't failed a single unit. By God's grace, i will continue to pass.
Having said that, right now, i should/could be studying computational or systems and control.. or property finance ... or even do some practice exams on financial equities and investments, but i seriously don't want to. I just need to let my brain metaphorically fart.
Interests - That time when i last wrote something, Nintendo Wii was one of my favourite things in life and in particular, Mario Kart and Guitar Hero because i was a freakin gun at those two games. I haven't looked to gaming consoles for quite a while now. Other interests have shifted towards the adult-side of life, namely employment. I've been looking for lots of work. By God's grace, i got some engineering related hands-on work in two different companies back between 2011 and 2012. Now i'm looking for vacation work and i'm hoping for a reply from an automation company for which i did an interview for a few days ago, and an energy company for which i did a phone interview. I've really been shown through all this time that God is good all the time. It hasn't been an easy journey. I've really had to learn to trust in God and not my own ways but retrospectively, it is obvious that God always knows best and He'll take care of you all the time. I might not get the job for either of those vacation work places, but i know 'that i know' in all my heart that if i continue being obedient to His word and submitting all my desires and casting all my cares unto Him, i'm going to be a-ok.
On the topic of not knowing what the future holds and putting God's will ahead of your own...
Relationships - That time when i last wrote something, ... .. .. i honestly can't remember if there was someone on my mind. Judging from my last post, i was really into SNSD girls. I still think they're gorgeous regardless of whether it was because of plastic surgery or not. I definitely think i'd give them more grace nowadays because as you get older, you get to understand that people are entitled to their own choices (but regardless, you know i was saying everything there very tongue-in-cheek. Always meant well in my own uniquely amusing way).
ANYWAY, so i did date a few girls over the past few years. I had some very interesting and particularly regretful relationships. I guess this is kind of like the admissions part of my blog.
- One example was when i was dating a girl who had just broken up with a guy friend of mine who thought of me as a good friend too, but didn't really grasp the concept of their break up. That was pretty bad because dating things should only happen when both parties have a mutual understanding. Anyway, it started off with me seeing her at a friend's 21st. Catching up, she told me about her life was with her then current boyfriend and i was there as a shoulder to cry on. She then started digging into the past... to two years prior to that when we were both in our last year of school and i liked her. She asked, "why didn't you ask me out back then?" followed by "do you still like me now?" followed by "don't you think we deserve a chance?" Yeah, i guess i didn't know how i felt and so i did reply 'yes' to the second question. But, it didn't take long until i stopped it because well, it was pretty bad. I got turned off by the idea of that relationship anyway. Thank God that my values and morals prevailed in the end. Having said that, very regretful because it wasn't long after i called it off that she went back to that boyfriend and they've been together now for four years. Actually, I don't think he knows how that happened to this day.
- Another example was when i asked a girl out from uni by asking her out to the movies. She said ok, and then she got back to me a couple of days later and said she'd be busy that week so maybe we could do it another time. Instead of doing it another time, i just kind of let it slide and never went back to it. For a while, i wasn't sure if that was something i should've regretted.. but eh, that was like, two years ago... although she did ask to catch up with me the other day. I never replied. I'll explain why later though.
- Another example was when i rebounded with a girl who i knew liked me (thanks to some of my good friends) and happened to be attractive (to me at least back then) and with whom i had an extreme-escalated-quickly kind of thing with in a two week period of time. It got to holding hands on the night of the day we met, and staying over at her place the night after. Thankfully, i didn't do anything too physically 'silly', but my biggest regret was that i treated her like crap because i didn't have anything emotionally available for her and really only essentially used her as a rebound. As a matter of fact, even when she asked me if i still had feelings for the past girl, i lied with "pfft, don't be silly. no", and persisted. It was a terrible thing i did, and i regret so much that i led her on for those weeks. When i finally mustered up the courage to tell her that i wanted to be friends..but over whatsapp (you're free to judge me.. but i'll let you know now that it began with "hey, can i talk to you one on one later? let's meet up" and only because she replied "is it because you want to be friends?" that i delivered the message i delievered), she took it pretty angrily as expected. Having said that, i think she's a remarkable girl who would be great for her right guy. I say this because she gave me a lot of grace even within those two weeks, she still had the decency to say hi whenever i walked past her, and she still even 'like'd my facebook post the other day. If i had to say something to her now, i would say "i just want to wish well". (Actually, i'd say the same thing to every other girl i've ever dated.)
- Another example was when i actually did end up dating and 'unofficially' boyfriending a girl from my local church for about ten months tops. I don't really want to talk about it because it's kind of one of those regretful ones where you only realise how bad it was through the gift of hindsight. But basically, it started when one of my close friends told me that you should always date someone who's not your friend because if it screws up with the one who is your friend, you can never go back. So, naively, i took her advice and sought after this particular girl who at the time, i thought would be a great catch. Turns out, some fish require bigger nets to be caught. I didn't realise that i was a fisherman who had a very particular hook and bait that would be exclusive to a one-out-of-a-bazillion type of fish. Hook and bait that belonged totally and completely to me. Precious, pure and carved from my raw love; practically my own dna. Obviously this girl wasn't the one, but due to my being completely mezmerised by her uniqueness, i couldn't help but keep trying to force catch her. What a stupid fisherman i was. Just because you're mildly hungry doesn't mean you have to go catch a jellyfish. Additionally, even when i sought God's counsel, i disregarded the signs and His still small voice which told me to "just be friends". So that was pretty bad and now she and i don't talk anymore, and i feel pretty bad for trying to push it to happen. So much wasted time and effort. I really wish it never happened and i guess, i deserve to feel this way about it now.
BUT.. the good news. The thing i DIDN'T deserve but i got as a result of God's unending, amazing grace..
and it just so happens to be about where i am now.
I met someone.
Someone incredible.
Incredible doesn't even adequately do her justice.
Justice is what i'm hoping to half-accomplish with what i'm about to write now.
Remember how i mentioned that i had really really exclusive bait? As stats would have it, this fish... this lady happened to be in international seas. To cut the story short, she took my hook and bait and basically, let me catch her. In case you're wondering about the description of a one-out-a-bazillion type of fish, i'll explain it now.
You're looking at someone who has a heart that is beyond what you could ever imagine.
Someone who is as beautiful as anything you've ever seen in your life.
Someone who makes everything else seem trivial (apart from God) in your eyes.
Someone who thinks the way you think, is on your wavelength, and is so selfless.
Someone who gives more grace than you'll ever be able to give.
Someone who can look past all of the crap you did in your past and say "it made you who you are today".
Someone who believes that everyone deserves a second a chance.
Someone who understands you. And even when she doesn't, she TRIES and keeps trying no matter what, regardless of how bad it might get.
Someone who makes you understand that actually, you had never truly loved anyone before in your life after all.
Someone who somehow, tells me she loves me more no matter the depth to which i say i love her.
Haha, i think you get the gist of it. She's amazing.
And i definitely tell her every day that i love her.
All up, one week from now will signify five months since we starting being together. Thankfully, she loves me enough that she's not shy to hide away from telling people that i'm her man. It certainly feels good when you don't have to put some stupid label to your relationship that compels you to ask yourself questions and causes you to feel insecurities. From day one, we've been totally honest with each other about our pasts. We don't hide anything from each other. She tells me everything that would be important to disclose in our relationship, and so do i. In those five months, we haven't yet had a single argument. Each day, i'm growing more and more in love with her. Totally in love with her. Sometimes it makes me emotional, which is pretty lame but it can't be helped. When God blesses you like this, how else do you react?
OH but there is one catch.
(as in one trade-off. also true that there is one catch in the sense that i caught my current girlfriend)
We're doing long distance.
Judge me all you want but rather than caring about what stupid opinions others have on it, i'm simply counting down the days until i get to see her again physically. And it's not too far away.
I'm simply looking forward to it more and more. *all smiles*
I know i haven't made a proper end to this blog but i must leave now because i've got a skype date with her.
Thank God for skype.
Don't worry totallytimmytime, i'll write something more opinionative, controversial and worth your reading while next time.
But for now, sorry buddy, she'll always be more important than a conclusion to a blog.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
All The Plastic Faces
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVdBe40je
hmm.. worried.
so, under that video's info tab, we are told that 95% of female korean celebrities have their faces altered.
that's just sad. and no, not only for those ladies and their self-esteem issues,
but more so for me.
there's a well-known k-pop girl band known as 'SNSD - girl's generation' (pictured above), and for the past month, i've happily told anyone who cares that i am in love with them, and not with their music, or their dancing. just their appearances.
they are beautiful!.. just.. .. beautiful.
so beautiful that currently, my desktop background is a picture of all 9 members of the band posing in pretty, white dresses.
*why?.. 2 reasons.
1) i'll happily let people passing by in my uni library and anyone who uses my laptop know that this is snsd territory, and i am in love with them.
2) i lose motivation quite easily.
and when i do lose motivation, i quickly click my 'show desktop' button just so i can quickly glance at them and tell myself, "c'mon timmy. one day, all of them will be your's. but first, you have to pass your next dynamics test."
and when i do lose motivation, i quickly click my 'show desktop' button just so i can quickly glance at them and tell myself, "c'mon timmy. one day, all of them will be your's. but first, you have to pass your next dynamics test."
- (just to clear things up a little, and in case i've implied it, i don't endorse polygamy. and i do value women. i believe that they have made a great contribution to the world through their intellectual abilities and innovative thinking... *cough :p)
moving on..
but alas, BOOM! penny drops, and it turns out that for the first time in my life, i've inadvertently and unknowingly been humanly attracted to someone/something other than female.
plastic.
how do i feel?
i feel deceived. i feel cheated.
i feel the same feeling you'd get if your wife gave birth to a baby boy, and at that ecstatic moment where your baby says, "hello world", he also says, "i'm obviously not your's."
i feel disgusted.
so at this point, i could just state the obvious ethical line, "be happy with who you are, and what you got".. but i'm not that corny.
instead, i'm just going to say something a little less used.
"stop destroying our environment."
according to 'wikipedia', the plastic substance most plastic surgeons use for plastic surgery for (e.g.) the buttocks are 'elastomers', a polymer which is made through the process of 'vulcanization', which involves reactions between rubber hydrocarbons (from trees) and sulfur.. but of course, more importantly, has "a notably low Young's modulus, and high yield strain" (for those who appreciate engineering :p)
and then of course, there's silicon. the production of which, involves the reaction of SiO2 with carbon materials like coal or wood chips (ding!), where:
SiO2 + C --> Si + CO2,
thus resulting in the release of... CARBON DIOXIDE! (dun dun dun!)
see, that sucks.
plastic sucks.
people with unnecessary plastic in their faces, they suck.
and then there's the expenditure of valuable money which could've been donated to charities around the globe - third world African and Asian countries, Haiti, etc.
e.g. Angelina Jolie - oh yeh, cover up your wastage of cosmetic surgery by adopting kids. nice, now we all respect you.
just dodgy.
and of course, then there's all that crap about how kids want to look like role model actresses, singers, etc. and that the ethical standards about how plastic singers/actresses make little kids think that plastic faces = good...
*but more importantly, environment! :p
so in conclusion, to all chronic users of plastic surgery around the world, cut the deceptive crap.
you look good, but we know you could've spent your money on better things in life.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
My first blog, a sign of things to come...
Okies.. so I'll start by introducing myself.
I'm Timmy. I love life regardless of whatever crap gets thrown at me, and I couldn't care less about punctuation. So, from now on, I'm just going to not bother putting capital letters in obvious places :p...
done. and dusted. ;) sweet. (i also like emoticons ;) )
onto my other hobbies, interests, info, etc..
i am a mildly experienced musician. i was classically trained in piano for about 8 years, and i'm still not half-decent.. :p, but nevertheless, i enjoy writing random songs which sometimes have/have no meaning to them ... and perhaps posting a few of them up on 'youtube' in the near future...
i'm currently studying in uni to become a doctor (well, at least that's what i tell my parents.. ha! first piss-lame joke from me.. [a sign of things to come])...but no, actually, i'm doing a double degree of commerce/engineering in Monash Uni. i'm in my first year, and my exams are coming up in a couple of weeks.
so why aren't i studying at the moment?... simply cause i'm the smartest person in the world :p ..ironic? ... (and more ironic that i couldn't use the word ironic, which is ironic in this sentence? yeh, told you i was the smartest person in the world... ;) )
i speak really really quickly. and mumble.
i really enjoy going out for exercise. it's great. if you're not a big fan of exercise (and you have no physical ailment, pain, etc.) do it! not only will you feel better about yourself, but it's good for ya ;)
i'll be the first to admit, i don't actually particularly enjoy reading books.
*so why do i bother making my own blog? ...
1) i need to release my thoughts from time to time, and i'm a guy, so i don't bother writing crap in diaries or whatever :p
2) Shen Lim. google her. .. and you'll probably find nothing.. .. what a shame :p
but you know what i do enjoy more than anything else? .. sleep ;)
AEST says it's 1.15 am... so... i guess i should eat my dinner now... :p
but yep.. i think that's enough talk about me ..
good night and God bless :)
Timmy ;)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)